Day 6: Post Cleanse

Well it's Day 6 Post Cleanse and I'm pretty much back to a normal diet--"normal" meaning that by now I've re-instituted meat, eggs, and dairy back into my diet. While I don't have the bovundless energy and clarity that I had during the cleanse, I am eating way more healthy than I was pre-cleanse, and I haven't gained any weight back. Most of all, I feel really accomplished for having exercised willpower for so long. All in all, success.

Day 13: 3 days off

So I have started to eat a little bit more today--I had the 10
vegetable soup for lunchi today and I couldn't finish it--it was only
a medium size portion (110 calories) and I guess my stomach must be
tiny or something, because I felt pretty full afterwards. I had
leftover veggie soup for dinner and some fruit and again I felt pretty
full.

I am trying to ease back into eating again, I do love food. I didn't
eat that much and I felt gross, I hope it gets better soon.

--
The thing I hate the most about advertising is that it attracts
all the bright, creative and ambitious young people, leaving us mainly
with the slow and self-obsessed to become our artists. Modern art is a
disaster area. Never in the field of human history has so much been
used by so many to say so little.
—Banksy

Day 12: 10:06pm

Well, I just made some soup. Mirepoix (carrots, celery, onion), a potato, rice, beans, water, and some other veggies and seasoning. Simple. I had some of the broth and ate a little bit of the veggies. So great to taste something new again!

There's a little bit of trepidation as I dip my feet into the whole eating thing again--it's a really odd, confusing feeling. Like I've been saying, I've been feeling amazing throughout the cleanse, and it's kind of a hard thing to give up. Having said all that, I really like food. I love food. My cravings are for different types of food and so on and so forth, so that's good.

I'll let you know how that goes.

Day 12: noon

At our inauguration watching party at work. Free pizza and pasta.

Don't want any of it!

Suckers!
Sent from my iPhone

day 11: 2:19pm

Well, I just had a couple of sips or orange juice, diluted with water, which is the first non-lemonade or laxative tea or water or peppermint tea thing that I've had in 10 days. Strangely enough, all I've had so far today has been water until now, 2:20pm and I'm feeling absolutely positively great. One thing I gotta say--I've felt fantastic for the past 10 days, and I'm going to try to do what I can to keep it that way.

Tomorrow, there is going to be a viewing party at work for the inauguration and they'll be serving pizza. While I'm sure I will eat pizza again at some point, I definitely am not going to be eating it tomorrow. Yuck.

Again, we'll see how long that lasts.

Oh man I want some of this so badly.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porchetta

Sent from my iPhone

Day 11: 9:00am

ANNNNND that's 10 days!

Well, I suppose I'm done cleansing. This morning, I am going to do the Salt Water Flush one last time, as I did some psyllium husks and bentonite clay yesterday. Believe me, I am not going to miss the Flush. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I can't say that enough.

Last night was a little bit weird/scary though--I wanted to end the cleanse with a skin brush and an epsom salt bath, so I went ahead and drew a bath--unfortunately I screwed up a little bit and made the bath hotter than I should have, so when I got up to rinse off, I almost passed out. OOPS.

Otherwise, the past 10 days have gone by rather quickly. I feel great physically and I think it was a great way to practice willpower and discipline to start off the new year. It was a LOT easier than I thought it would be, and overall a nice reboot of the system. Oh, and I lost 19 lbs.

So, today I will start in on some orange juice, which should be interesting. I'll let you know how that goes.

day 10! 10:35am - The Final Countdown

It's Day 10. The final day of the cleanse. Well, it's not really the FINAL day, because there is a few days of re-acclimating to solid food again, since my digestive system really hasn't been doing anything.

Woke up super early (for a weekend, around 7:30am), pretty well rested, given the fact that i went to sleep around 1:30am. I made sure to take plenty of the psyllium husks yesterday and a bunch of the bentonite clay to make sure I gave the ol' innards a good scrubbin' on the final day. I have to say that the Salt Water Flush is pretty much my least favorite part of the cleanse, but of course it's a necessary part of the *ahem* flushing process.

Today's flush was "productive", no doubt due to the bulking/scraping agents I took yesterday, in any case. In any case, as a sort of treat to myself, I am watching "Supersize Me" today--you know... just because.

day 9: 510pm

Day 9, did i mention that yet? It's friggin cold outside, and I'm watching Food Network. Whaa-aaat?

Day 9: 11:20am

Never mind that last post, just as I was about to leave the house, I
had to go. I think part of it was the fact that I was sittting down.
Once I started to get up and walk around, my stomach started gurgling.

Sent from my iPhone

day 9: 10:45am uh oh

i screwed up today somehow. woke up at around 8:15am (sue me, it's a weekday), got up and started doing stuff around the house. remembered that I probably should do the salt water flush. Did that around 9am or so while I was watching tv. It's now 10:47 and nothing's come out yet. I've even farted between now and then and didn't wet my pants. Thing is, I sort of let it sit around too much and it was pretty cold when I drank it. Don't know if that made a difference, or what. I'm kind of scared to leave the house for obvious reasons.

day 8: 10:44am

Well, I got into work a little late today, which is odd because I woke up half hour to an hour earlier than I usually do. Forgot to drink the tea that I made last night--when I woke up, I saw it sitting there on the kitchen counter. Oops. Anyway, so I drink the salt water and it took around 45 minutes before I went to the bathroom. I only went once, and it didn't really seem like it all came out. Curious. In any case, I may live to regret this, but here is my morning ritual. Sans bathroom.

day 7: an aside

HOLY CRAP IT'S DAY 7!

day 7: 10:26am

Got out of bed at 7:30 this morning after hitting the snooze button only 3 times, which is sort of remarkable for me. I did have the tea last night, which made it much much easier for me to do my business this morning. Mustn't forget to do that again. Salt water went down without a hitch, and the business came out pretty soon afterwards, thank goodness.  And in only two sittings.

**graphic business description**
watery but slightly thicker, perhaps because I took the bentonite clay yesterday. I was going to do the psyllium husks yesterday, but I just plain forgot. In any case, don't get me wrong, you're still peeing out of your ass (as you are after day 1 or 2 basically), but it maybe a little thicker today. Maybe I just haven't been looking at it closely enough. The other day there were little chunks of things, but not today. Just thick water, maybe some of it the consistency of snot.

Having said all that, I feel great, and the sort of funk that I was going through on day 5 has passed. I have a lot of energy, and supposedly that's due to the fact that my digestive system (not a small part of your body) is resting, giving me more energy to do other stuff. Well, that's at least what all those other master cleanse sites say. Yeah, there are other sites on the internet that talk about the master cleanse. Go figure.

day 6: 1:01pm

Well, after "luxuriating" in the epsom salt bath last night, I promptly fell asleep, forgetting to take the senna leaf smooth move tea.  That's actually a little bit of an untruth, as I also spent time trying to install the Windows 7 beta (on my mac), but promptly gave up as it was stressing me out, negating the benefits of the bath.

In any case, I forgot to drink the tea, which meant it was a little bit more difficult than normal to take care of business in the water closet this morning. Not incredibly difficult, mind you, as the water will come out eventually, but it took longer for it to want to come out, and it took longer for all of it to come out.

Today is coming along fine. I did realize last night that I don't really take time to take a lunch break while I'm on the cleanse, which I normally take as a nice break from the day.  I also don't get food coma after lunch because my digestive system is basically just resting for 10 days. Now that I'm past the halfway mark, it's time to start thinking and planning on how to ease out of the cleanse.

One of the main reasons I'm doing the cleanse is that it forces you to think about what you put in your body.  Highly processed foods just don't seem very appealing afterwards and I just end up eating less, and eating better foods. Your cravings for food switch from crap food (although I must say I don't eat a ton of junk anyway, at least compared to most people) to simpler, less processed vegetables and fruits and meat.  So... here's to that.

day 5: 9:06pm -- F-ing Hippie.

Ok, as if Master Cleansing didn't push me into weirdo territory enough, I went into full crazy hippie dreamcatcher mode and did some skin brushing and then... an epsom salt bath. This was all on the suggestion of my friend Gillian, my Master Cleanse Counselor on the west coast.

So... skin brushing apparently stimulates the lymphatic system to excrete toxins through the skin... I AM detoxing, right? Skin brushing is done on dry skin with a natural fiber brush, first the soles of the feet, then all over your body, brushing towards the heart.

I followed it up with a bath. yeah, that's right, A BATH. I can't remember the last time I drew a bath, damn that took forEVER. I am a single guy as well and... well... I had to make sure that my bathtub was clean enough to take a bath in. Anyway... I filled the tub and sat in it for 20 minutes, and... now I want to go to sleep. Damn that was awesome. In any case, I guess an epsom salt bath also draws out toxins through the skin and is really really relaxing.

Gillian mentioned that our friend Jen says that "Baths are for cats and for hippies", and I was sort of inclined to agree, but... I'll probably do it again. Don't tell anybody, k?

* edit* - actually, the quote was "Baths AND cats are for hippies". oops.

day 5: 7:31pm

So I'm home at a decent hour today--actually, I was home at a decent hour yesterday too, but I had 3 hour of work to do or so, which I guess contributed to my non psyllium/bentonite day. I haven't had any of either so far today, I think I might go just bentonite and see what comes out the other end.

So, I wonder what I should eat for dinner? Oh. Right. Lemonade.

day 5: 12:55pm - Halfway mark

So I woke up today earlyish but didn't get out of bed til 8am because I broke my no-laptop-in-bed rule and was reading emails and blogs and whatnot this morning. In any case, I got out of bed and sort of felt a little lightheaded when I actually stood up, I didn't really drink all that much of the lemonade yesterday, maybe 5 glasses or so in all (I'm basing this on an 8-oz glass, in case you were wondering), so maybe that had something to do with it.

Speaking of the number 5, it's day 5, and that marks the halfway mark, a milestone of sorts. Not much has changed, I'm not hungry, I feel good, my senses are heightened, my hands are cold (a detox symptom), and... well not much else has changed. The novelty of cleansing is starting to wane and I think I felt sort of annoyed with the whole process this morning.  Come to think of it, I was reading some rather depressing things online this morning and although I knew that probably wasn't the best or most positive way to start my day (not to sound like a west coast new age weenie or anything), so maybe that had something to do with it, but in any case, I wasn't really eager to start flushing.

It's times like these that it really helps to have a cleanse buddy. It's not an absolute necessity, mind you.  Let's face it, not eating for 10+ days is kind of a pain in the ass, to say the least and it helps to have someone to commiserate with. I mean, it's not like I don't have friends that are empathetic or anything, but... anyway.

Ok, so onto the practical details of today. I didn't have any psyllium or bentonite yesterday, somewhat because I got a bit lazy (probably why I didn't drink much yesterday either), but even when I realized that I hadn't, I didn't do much to try to get some in. I wanted to see whether or not the clumpy bits of stuff that I was expelling was in fact the psyllium and the clay or not. Well... it must have been, because all that came out this morning was liquid. Well, all I could see was liquid, and it was dark. I think I felt some semi-solid bits come out, but I couldn't see them because the liquid was really really dark, darker than any of the other stuff that came out previously. Further obfuscating the issue is the fact that I have blue 2000 flushes toilet bowl cleaner in my toilet tank, and my toilet water is blue, so I can never really judge properly what color it is unless it's a floaty.

Oh, I have been taking something called Parafree, which is supposed to rid your guts of parasites. I started taking that sunday night, I think. Not sure if it's doing anything.

Anyway, feeling alright. Just a normal day, not the sort of euphoric "I'm on a cleanse and all is awesome with the world" day that I'd been hoping for. 5 more days, I've come this far, no turning back now.

day 4: 12:47pm - Back to Work

Ok, so I'm back to work today after spending most of the weekend holed up in the apt. It's now what would normally be lunchtime for most people at the office here, and due to a perfect storm of it being 29 degrees Fahrenheit outside, and the fact that people seem to be busy here at work, a lot of people are eating at their desks.  My senses seem to be heightened, I can hear someone crunching away on some chips or something and it sounds like he's got a mouthful of rocks, and someone is eating soup or an indian curry or something and it absolutely smells delicious. I can't say that I'm really hungry per se, and while it smells good, I'll be fine not running out and stuffing my face with a cheeseburger.

I think I made the right decision starting on Friday. I don't know if i would feel the same about the tempation of food on days 2 or 3, but by the time you get to day 4, you're kind of over the hump, I think.

day 4: 9:42am

CRISIS AVERTED

Woke up this morning at about 8 o'clock (forgot to set my alarm, long story) and I felt generally pretty good. The fact that I woke up without an alarm at a decent hour should tell you something, but maybe you don't know my sleeping habits as well as you should. tsk, tsk. In any case, I did what any self-respecting master cleanser does every morning, I made some lukewarm water, dropped in the sea salt, shook it up, and chugged it like I was doing a beer bong at a frat party. And I waited and waited and waited. I wait as long as I can before I "go" because I want to try to get it all out at once, you see.

Why, you ask? Think of a time when you've had really bad diarrhea and you had to constantly go to the bathroom. Think of how raw your ass got after wiping all the time. I like to try to keep that to a minimum, so I like to try to get it all out at once. If you don't already, buy the plushest toilet paper you possibly can (I am strictly a two-ply tp man 24/7/365), and some people recommend you pick up some Tucks witch hazel wipes. I haven't used the Tucks yet, but I picked some up just in case. I have been known to use baby wipes during this process as well, or even just a good ol' shower.

Anyway, so I do my business (clumpy, due in no doubt to the psyllium husks and bentonite, and... watery), which takes quite a bit of time, enough to play a full game of Risk on the iPhone (the luxtouch app) and I went on to get ready for work.  Just as I was about to walk out the door, I had to go again. Squirts. So, like I said, be very careful that you are done before you leave the house.

Just saying.

Day 3: 8:49pm

Today was fairly easy as far as how i felt, wasn't cranky or anything, had plenty of energy. Drank about 5 glasses of THE JUICE today and plenty of water. Will probably end up taking some bentonite and psyllium, a glass of the juice, and the smooth move tea before bed.

As an aside, I weighed myself yesterday and today, and found that I'd lost 4lbs since yesterday. I'm guessing that it's likely water weight--also, this might be slightly inaccurate because my scale is an IKEA piece of crap.

Smoove, out.

Day 3: 10:36am

Alright, well... I ended up going right after I just posted. Again, lots of brown water. Wasn't too productive otherwise, looks like lots of the bentonite and the bulky psyllium husks. Is that gross?

Day 3! 9:20am

ok, so I just gulped down the Salt Water Flush. It went down much easier this time. Much, much easier. I know I got kind of light with the updates yesterday, I'll try and recap here.

Yesterday, it only took about 10 minutes for me to start expelling the salt water flush. Granted, it timed right around my normal morning poop, so that wasn't too weird, I suppose.

*graphic bowel movement description alert!*
Ok, so let me explain what happens when you salt water flush--basically you chug a quart of body-temperature water that has non-iodized sea salt in it. Apparently this is indigestible, so basically it just goes right through you, as in--in your mouth, and out your rear, hopefully flushing out gunk along with it.

So like I said, yesterday it took about 10 minutes for the water to start wanting to come out. A(nother) word of warning, once you drink the salt water flush, if you feel like farting, go directly to the restroom, because it will likely be a wet fart (shart). I had a bit of a close call yesterday, in any case. Anyway, it was a little bit of a normal poop, albeit with a lot of water. Make sure that you get up plenty early in the morning to do this, as it can take 30 minutes to an hour for you to expel all the water. Just saying, it doesn't always come out all at once

Yesterday, I probably drank about 8 glasses (two liters) of the lemonade as well as a tablespoon of bentonite clay and some psyllium husks. Ok, the bentonite and the psyllium aren't quite necessary for the cleanse, but if you are serious about the cleansing benefits of the Master Cleanse, then I'd recommend it. The bentonite clay is a liquid that ends up (supposedly) absorbing toxins in your guts (that's a scientific term, look it up) and gets expelled with your BM's (i always think of my grandfather when I use the term BM), and the psyllium husks are basically non-dietary fiber that just basically bulks up and scrapes the hell out of your insides.

Last night I actually had the Smooth Move tea instead of the capsules, I trekked over to the Whole Foods in Chelsea where they had the tea. I must say it was nice to have the tea because it's nice to have something different than the lemonade or water. Incidentally, you can also have mint tea, so that makes it a total of 3 different flavors of liquid + water that you are drinking for 10 days. Having said all that, it was nice to get out and go for a walk, (the walk was 1.3 miles each way, incidentally) and I had plenty of energy to get there and back up the four flights of stairs at my apartment.

I must say, it's been pretty easy so far--traditionally days 2 and 3 are pretty terrible as far as energy and pains and mental clarity/muddiness and irritability--maybe because I've done the cleanse twice before? I think it's nice being home instead of at work these two days, just in case.

Wow, 30 minutes later and still no poop.

day 2: 9:00am

Holy Cow! Just finished gulping down the salt water flush. That was
WAY harder than I remember it being. I think I may have gotten the
temperature wrong or something. In any case, we'll see how long it
takes for it to kick in.

*waits*

Day 2: 8:31am

Well it's day 2 and I am about to undergo my first salt water flush of
the cleanse. Slept for about 8 hours on the nose and feel relatively
good--only had probably six glasses of the lemonade yesterday, but had
two tablespoons of bentonite and two teaspoons of psyllium husks, as
well as the smooth move laxative before going to bed.

I am a little conflicted as to how graphic and or detailed I should
get when I describe how "productive" my flushes get--I guess we'll
cross(or burn) that bridge when I get to it.

Day 1: 716 pm

Well, not really light-headed anymore, I did hit up some more lemonade and that seemed to help. Tonight I do the Smooth Move Senna Laxative Pill (I couldn't find the stupid tea at the Whole Foods in Union Square) and the Salt Water Flush in the am. Only had about 32oz of the Lemonade, I'll definitely have more before bed, including some psyllium husks and some bentonite clay. Sound like an awesome Friday night?

Day 1: 2:51pm

I am posting mostly because I am sitting in a meeting that has gone almost 2 hours now. Having said all that, it's been 2 hours since I've even had a little sip of lemonade. I have had half a liter of water though, and I'm not really feeling hungry per se.

I am starting to feel a little bit light-headed though. Not bad, a little tingly. Might be because I have been sitting here for two hours, might be because well, I haven't eaten.

Day 1: 12:39pm

Ok, getting kind of hungry. Not surprising, given that I've been kind of busy and have only had 1.5 glasses of THE JUICE. I may have a tiny bit of it and drink more water.  Energy is fine and all that still. I find that the first day is mostly pretty easy, it's day 2 and 3 that are the toughies. Day 2 and 3 SUCK if you are at work. You're hungry and crabby, and you're around people who are eating and you're around donuts and bagels and whatnot, so I've basically timed it so days 2 and 3 come on the weekend (a weekend that is supposed to snow and generally be frigid), so I can just stay home, stay warm, play video games and watch bad tv.

Ok, I just had some water and it chased away the hungry feeling. 

Day 1: 11:35am

Well, today is my first day on the cleanse, and as of 11:35 am, I feel fine! I've had probably 1.5 glasses of the lemonade so far and it's been alright. It doesn't taste bad, and yet it doesn't really taste good--keep in mind, I've done it twice before so maybe I'm used to it. I woke up a little late this morning, so I had to rush around this morning to make my lemonade to take to work, but otherwise, it hasn't been that much of a hassle.

So far.

Day 1: 8:46am

The Master Cleanse

I am starting Stanley Burrough’s Master Cleanse today, and here is my journal. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

I’ve done the Master Cleanse twice before, once about 8 years ago, once about 4 years ago, and while it wasn’t easy either time, I was pleasantly pleased enough with the process that I definitely want to give it another shot. I figured with the new year and all, it would be a good time to try it again, and try to keep a journal this time.

The Who/What/Why and Whatnot of the Master Cleanse

I know a lot of people Master Cleanse because they want to lose weight fast. I know when I was googling Master Cleanse, I found out that Beyonce lost something like 22lbs in two weeks cleansing, and Jared Leto lost 60lbs or something ridiculous like that as well.

However, the Master Cleanse is not called the Master Diet, its intent is a purportedly to detoxify the body by loosening toxins in the body throughout the day with a lemon juice/cayenne pepper/maple syrup/water concoction, aided by senna leaf (a natural laxative) tea at night, and flushed out by a salt water flush in the morning.

Generally, this is a 10-day process, (including a few days afterwards to re-acclimate to eating solid food) and by the end, you've lost some weight, you've detoxified your system, and you've broken your addictions to caffeine, processed food, and you're ready to move on with your life.

Day 1: Drink the lemonade drink, 6-12 glasses. If you want to lose weight, drink less. At night, drink the senna leaf tea
Day 2-10: In the morning, do the salt water flush. Make sure your bowels are completely empty before you leave the house. Could get messy otherwise. During the day, drink the lemonade drink. At night, drink the senna leaf tea.

Easy peasy, right? We'll see.

I will continually update this first background post as I go along with the cleanse.